For Parents

Takiwatanga is an indigenous Maori word for Autism that roughly translates to “in their own space and time”. This does not only apply to those on the Autism spectrum or those who are formally diagnosed as neurodivergent more generally, but also provides some wisdom for the parent-child relationship. It is incredibly hard to slow down and meet your child in their own space in time while parenting in a world that emphasizes rushing, multitasking, specific types of accomplishment, and constant striving.

It doesn’t help that there is a ton of comparison and unsolicited advice from other parents, as well as information out there that is overwhelming to parse through, contradictory or doesn’t seem to fit your child’s unique needs.

I might be a good fit for you if…

You feel loss around the expectations or dreams you once had for your child.

You feel worried about failing your children, either by not pushing them hard enough or pushing them too hard.

You have intense feelings of hopelessness and shame about your role as a parent.

You are experiencing tension between yourself and your child.

You feel overwhelmed by the challenges of having a child who is highly sensitive, does not seem to operate in the world like you expected, struggles to fit in, or is an uncomfortable mirror to traits in yourself that you have learned to mask or cope with earlier in your life.

  • have children (typically teens and young adults— though I have experience working with parents of younger children too) who are neurodivergent and/or LGBTQIA and/or are struggling to fit in.

  • transitions. Maybe your child has been highly sensitive since birth. Maybe they start a fight every time it seems they don’t get their way. Maybe they’re extremely shy and you worry about whether or not they are going to have a good support system in school. Maybe they’re dealing with bullying. Maybe they’ve just come out as trans or gay and you’re not sure how to best support them. Maybe they’re dealing with intense anxiety and depression related to bullying or being behind in school or just generally feeling different. Maybe they’ve started to use substances in a worrying way, and you don’t know how to help them. Maybe you’re exhausted by the constant arguments that come up in day-to-day life, just trying to get them to do what you see as the bare minimum. Maybe you’re having difficulty balancing their emerging values as they contradict with your own. Generally, I work with parents of teenagers and young adults, but also have experience working with parents of younger children.

  • through a mix of therapeutic work and more hands-on skills coaching, learn how to really see your child for who they are and help you slow down to match their pace and celebrate the steps they take in their own space and time. Together we will work through better understanding your child’s unique needs, cognitive and sensory profile, and learn how, by accepting them where they are, you can also push them towards change in the areas where they may need to grow or require more support. I will also help you process through what is coming up for you in the parenting process, as parenting is often a strong mirror to our own unresolved trauma and insecurities. We will establish a space in which you can feel comfortable parsing through your true feelings, work through grief around not having the relationship or ease you may have imagined with your child, work on setting balanced limits with them if that’s something you struggle with, and learn how to treat your own anxiety, body image issues, or trauma that your highly sensitive child may be unconsciously taking on and causing problems within the dynamic.